Apart from todays title being my favourite Fatboy Slim album, today has been a good day to think about where I was three years ago. Yup, that is how long I have been working towards my goal. That is a very long time.
Three years ago I was very not happy. I was trying every reason in the book to tell myself that being fat was not my fault, I blamed it on everything. My knees were dodgy, so I couldn’t exercise. We lived in a small town so had limited places to shop, so I blamed that. I had hormone issues and mood swings, so I blamed that. My cross trainer was big and clunky and made a squeaking noise that made me angry, so I blamed that. My cat had diabetes and stress issues and I had to watch him all the time or he would pee on the front door, so I blamed that. Yup, you name it, it was blamed. I never took ownership of it or felt that I was responsible. I now know completely different.
Blame is never a good word, but I cant really think of a better way to say it. Being fat was my fault. And to me, knowing what I know now, my biggest thing was lack of knowledge, and laziness. Nothing else. I am a smart person, I’ll come out and say it. I’m not silly, I consider myself to have my head screwed on properly, I’m sensible, I like learning new things and taking in information, I like to read a lot, but to realise now how little I knew about my own body, a body I was living in every day, I actually feel kind of annoyed by it.
I feel that knowing your own body, how it works, what the best things are that you can do to keep it running efficiently at an optimum level and keep yourself disease and illness free, how to fuel yourself and fill up yourself up with nutrients, I think knowing these things are the most important things you can do for yourself, your family and your life. And throwing in a little determination, combined they can be one awesome powerful thing.
It has taken me the best part of 2 and a half years to realise that my outer appearance is not the only reason I am still working towards my goal. Yes, it is important to me to feel happy and confident with how I look on the outside. probably a bit more than it should, and in the past I have tried so many ‘diets’, with the thinking if I could only get to how I wanted to look on the outside, irregardless of what toxic rubbish I pumped into my body to get there, then I would have pushed a great big ‘reset’ button and I could start being healthy from that point on. I have had chemical shakes on programs promoting ‘health’, I’ve had prescription drugs (some now banned for causing death in a few people and loads of other serious side effects in others), tried dangerous fad diets, so so many dumb things to do, just because I wanted to look a certain way. I am now so very glad I have gone down the path I am now on, where nutrition is number one, and everything else that comes from it will be a welcome side effect.
So yeah, I’m three years down the track, I have lost 30 kilos and I may have a bunch more weight to lose, but the main point of this post is this: I am healthy. The healthiest I’ve ever been. And sitting here after a big day of green juices, berry smoothies, a vegan dinner, and sipping coconut water and lime juice from a jar with a nectarine for dessert, Ill tell you one thing. This is the best path for anyone. Kilos might not be pouring off me, but I feel good knowing that I am nourishing my body and hopefully doing the right thing by all of my little cells in there, and not pumping in the chemical cocktail of medications, weight loss shakes and ‘low fat’ foods that I used to just to try and get an ‘outer’ result.
So my main message today: Gain lots of knowledge. Read everything you can. Watch anything that looks even slightly interesting to you, you might learn something great 🙂 Listen to your body, try lots of new foods and see how you react to lots of different things. You will find what works for you eventually and most of all, don’t give up 🙂 I’ve come a super long way from my old attitudes and beliefs from gaining knowledge and trying new stuff, anyone can do it.
P.S. This week I have learnt a very important thing for myself by watching Food Matters and a couple of other documentaries and doing some reading: I am SO glad I decided not to take up my offer to do Pharmacy at uni. I couldn’t imagine today being able to go to work and hand out the same drugs that I used to day after day to unwell people like I did in my old job to with the knowledge that I have now. I am so glad I have gone down the nutrition path that I have, and wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.
P.P.S. If you have never had coconut water with half a lime squeezed into it over half a tray of ice cubes, try it. Try it now 😀