Day One Hundred and Thirty Seven: Motivation.

So personally, for me this year has gone too fast and also a bit too slow. You know what I mean? Like the super good things have come and gone, and the tedious things just keep dragging on and on like they will never finish.

Sitting here just now, its made me kind of sad to realise that at the beginning of this year my thoughts were yes, this is my year, I will reach my weight goal this year, and it will be awesome. But I am the exact same weight as I was at the beginning of the year, if not 2 kilos heavier….. It can get pretty frustrating when that happens, especially if you feel like you have made the effort to change. And have I ever.

I no longer eat on a daily basis:

Bread, Gluten, Dairy, Meat, Sugar, Soy, processed foods

And I have included:

Green smoothies, green juices, probiotics, vegetable only juices, more fruit, vegetable based meals, raw foods, coconut oil

And yet I have seen pretty much no change, other than in my skin, and my mood. Yes, those things are HUGE, and really great to have sorted out, but you cant help wondering why the weight remains the same. And unfortunately, I have no answers just yet, other than exercise. Which just at the moment I have no time for, so cant really change that right now. And by no time, I mean NO TIME. I have about 12 lectures, an assignment and exams in the next two and a half weeks, and a three year old…. If anyone can see any time spare in all of that, please, let me know šŸ˜¦

Sorry if this is all a bit depressing today peeps, but there is a bright side: I am super pumped to start training for my Pilates the second uni is over for a while. SUPER PUMPED. I have the whole teaching manual on my Galaxy ready to go, I cant wait for the 1st of November to give it all Ive got and got nuts, its so exciting. So its kind of keeping me going right now, knowing that so soon I can work out, and give myself the attention that I need.

Anyway, after the huge food week I had last week, the last thing I’m doing this week (and probably until uni is over) is stepping on those scales. Nope, not happening. I can see it in the mirror and feel that I did some damage, I don’t need to feel worse than I already do. I’m just going to eat (and drink) the best I can, and hope that the next time I get on them I will have a nice surprise.

So for dinner I had this:

IMG_2571

And yes, that is entirely as giant as it looks šŸ˜€ Giant big green smoothie, all for me šŸ˜€

A lot of people ask me how I keep motivated, especially after such a long time of being the same weight, after having lost so much and still so much to go. I think its just because I’m so used to it, that there is no giving up and just staying like this. Its not an option. Yes, sometimes it frustrates the hell out of me and can get me down, but I just want to feel healthy, and have it show on the outside. I want to walk into a shop and buy whatever I want, without having a stress about if it will hide this or that, I just want to be comfortable, and myself, and for me, this size is neither of those things. And it does not let me do the things I want to do either, so I guess that is my main motivation. It’s not about how I look (mostly!!), its about having the life I want and not being held back.

So I’ll just keep on going, and hold out for the uni holidays šŸ™‚ I cant wait šŸ™‚

xx

 

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