Day Eighty Nine: A bit emotional….

I’m off to uni for almost a week. I love it because I have met so many awesome people through doing my degree, but it definitely makes me sad not to be at home too.

This time I am doing 4 days in a lab worth of Microbiology. We get to look at germs and bacterias and all the cool stuff under microscopes, first thing I’m doing is making a slide of a swab of my phone, definitely 😀 I want to know exactly how gross it is, seeing as its in my hand the majority of the day!

Anyway, Ive made 6 almost half litre jars of my berry smoothie and green juice to take, have my snacks all planned out and wrote an email to tell the cooks there exactly how difficult I’m going to be, poor guys ha ha ha ha Also packed my gym clothes, actually did a workout last time, so might fit in one this time too 🙂

So….. Last night I did two things: I had a cake order 🙂 I closed my little cake business for a while, this was the last order I took before I did that, may as well show you guys what 4.5 hours of decorating gets you 😉

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It was slightly huge, 10 inches across the middle and 6 high, that was a heavy cakie 😀

And I also found the photo I will use at the time I reach my goal weight, that I will be using for my ‘before’ photo. I’m not going to post it yet, I will say this though…. It made me sad. I cant even remember looking like that now, cause I have been stuck at this weight so long, but even though it was my birthday, and I’m holding my bubba, I look very unhappy and very uncomfortable. It made me think about how happy it makes me to not be (and I really dont want to come across as rude or anything) a silly person anymore who does nothing about it. Do you know what I mean? To keep doing the exact same thing and feel so awful all of the time, and just never want more, or try to achieve more. And its made me look at myself now and know I can do this and keep going. I did post a little bit about my story and my photo on one of the raw food pages I am on, and one lady wrote this:

“You just made me cry! I identify so strongly with your story. Well done, I think you just helped me regain my motivation. Thank you!”

And another wrote this:

“Thank you so much for sharing, I am going to show this to my daughter, she has struggled with similar behaviors and just like you wants to be happy. Until I read your story I didn’t connect it to her diet. You are a beautiful woman regardless of weight as is my daughter but feeling good and not having the mood swings is a quality of life. I’m sure you will continue to drop the weight as you stay with changes you’ve made in your diet. Bubba will grow up knowing a healthier lifestyle too. Bless you Daisy!”

I guess I never started out writing this blog or sharing my story with anyone for anything other than personal reasons of maybe wanting a bit of a pat on the back, and a bit of encouragement to keep going… But hearing that people are motivated and inspired by my determination really touches me, and motivates me so much more than anything.

As I’ve been writing this I just had another message posted:

“I read happiness in your determination, happiness in your steps of lifestyle change. You have a wonderful empowered determined look in the recent photo, and you do glow!! Let that twinkle come through in your eyes and love your journey. You have conquered some major hurdles, and in the midst of having a child. You will give him the gift of loving himself and the awareness of health based choices. BRAVO DAISY, you might feel the you still have a long road to go but I see how far you’ve come. I hope you are as proud of yourself, as we; your ######## community are for you! Yes, it is more than looks, it is health. Again, BRAVO!!”

Am speechless. The effect words have on me is very powerful. I’m so ready to keep going, because things like that make me believe in myself. And I can do this.

So on that note, I will see you all on the other side of my uni res school.

xx

 

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Day Eighty Six: EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

Some really cool things have happened over the past two days 😀 I am very excited, in case you can’t tell by the title. The first really cool thing was: I made a raw cheesecake. Why am I so excited? As a cake maker, I know how to throw eggs and flour and sugar in a bowl and make it taste half decent 🙂 A raw cheesecake is something I’d never even heard of until recently, and I couldn’t comprehend how it would work really, there was nothing in it but fruit and nuts, there were no eggs to hold it together, no biscuit base, no flour, so how did these things work?

Well, mine worked like this:

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I’m going to go as far to say that I impressed myself actually. I can make a three-tier wedding cake, no sweat, but this thing made me nervous 😀 The recipe is this in case you guys want to make it, I highly recommend doing so!!!!

http://deliciouslyella.com/raw-blueberry-cheesecake-vegan-gluten-free/

Her page has the most fantastic recipes, I posted my photos on Instagram and tagged her, and she commented, that was so exciting!! 😀

So I made this for a dinner we were having at my friend’s house, who is also trying the Kimberly Snyder Beauty Detox Diet, I took this, my favourite food to eat at the moment:

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And she made these awesome Green Burgers, which were fantastic, I even got some to bring home for dinner tonight, and they were beautiful 😀 I love the colour!!!

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And in my dinner tonight:

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Fantastic 😀 I’m so loving to experiment with all of these things I have never tried before!!!!! Although, I did go back to one of my favourites for lunch:

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It was a HEALTHY one, vegetarian, and so yum 🙂

So that’s been my food journey for the past couple of days, so many yum things to try!!!

Oh, and I had to make apple juice for the cheesecake:

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So for all of you out there that buy bottled juice, my thoughts looking at this were THIS is what real apple juice looks like, it doesn’t look like dark pee in a bottle. Just saying…….

By the way, if anyone ever wants recipes of any of these things, just let me know. Maybe I should just be putting them on here….?

OK, so enough of the super yum foods, I have big news 😀 Super big for me anyway, and am heaps stoked, and also a little bit worried, but stoked mostly: I enrolled in my Pilates accreditation teachers course today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its happening!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am so excited, I have loved Pilates since starting in 2002, and now I’m going to be able to teach it 😀 My one worry is that I need to get more fit before then, and lose some weight, and I have until March…. Wish me luck!! I already have a friend willing to yell at me each day for not exercising or eating chips, so anyone else wants to jump on board the ‘motivate Daisy’ train go ahead 😀 I think I’ll be ok with it, seeing as now I have a deadline!!! So excited though, I always wanted to be a dancer, this is the closest I’ll get with my dodgy knee, and I can’t wait 😀 It’s a matwork course, which I love, you can’t hate an exercise if you are laying down 😉 ha ha ha ha ha 😀

So that’s my super massive exciting news, and my slightly less but still ‘really happy with it’ cheesecake I made 😀 (Oh, and people ate it and didn’t hate it, people like my husband who doesn’t ever like that kind of thing, bonus ha ha ha ha)

Am so winning. Its a nice feeling. Now off to bed so I can train my butt off tomorrow 😀

xx

Day Eighty Four: Makes sense to me!!

So I am posting super early today, as I have an exam later and a stack of cramming to do before I go to uni at the end of the week.

I really wanted to share this, I follow Jess Ainscough and her blogs and fb updates, she is a massive inspiration to me, and where I would like to be down the track. Her posts have inspired me so much, particularly when I need reminding sometimes why I’m doing all this uni craziness when I am so tired and exhausted, it reminds me that I want to be able to help people achieve their best health, and in order to do that, I need to get mine into the place where I am happy, energetic and full of life first.

This was her post today, and its exactly how I have been thinking lately, you guys have seen that on my posts here. I agree with this 100% I actually have the Gerson therapy book, and once the craziness dies down I will be reading every word of it. I am always open to new ideas, and love reading all of the different things that work for everyone 🙂

http://www.thewellnesswarrior.com.au/2013/08/let-your-gut-tell-you-what-to-eat/

Definitely read that, its really great 😀

I’ve actually noticed a drop in how often I’m craving salty foods, which is my number one craving all of the time. And I have also noticed its only when I’m totally exhausted that I want those type of foods, and then as you might have seen from my recent posts, that food makes me feel a lot worse and tired afterwards anyway!!!!!

I’m at the point where I’m totally re-learning how to eat. It sounds weird, I’m not a 2 year old trying stuff for the first time, but I definitely feel that way!!!! My tastes have totally changed, I look at all these wholefood and raw sites lately and find myself having cravings for stuff I’ve never even tasted properly, like the dehydrated eggplant ‘bacon’ on a vegetarian BLT, or zucchini pesto pasta using a spiralizer to make zucchinis into long spirals, instead of actual pasta, stuff like that. I have my whole life decided that I hate zucchini and eggplant!! Mostly because Ive only ever had it boiled the hell out of so it was all slimy and mushy and gross, I don’t think it was the flavour, just the preparation of it, and all of a sudden I am so willing to give it another go 😀 And last night before i fell asleep I even found myself thinking about breakfast this morning, straight away I was like “oooooh my berry smoothie, definitely, will add in some chia seeds, that will be great”, Ive had my lemon water as soon as I got up, we went out for coffee this morning so I had a green rose tea, and came home and now have my beautiful purple smoothie sitting here ready for me to drink while I study. Cant wait 😀

Have a great day people out there in internet land 🙂 And listen to your belly, its telling you what it wants. And its not hamburgers 😉 Mines telling me that I need to make a batch of these raw cacao truffles and eat them with a big plate of strawberries later 😀IMG_0657

 

Oh hey, and check this out, this is me at the start of this whole thing, eighty four day ago, and the other photo is me last week. I may not have lost any numbers on the scale, but I think there is a huge difference in my skin and everything, winning!!!!!!IMG_0262

 

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Of course, having your hair done makes you feel a bit awesome too, but I think I look a bit better 😀

xx

 

Day Eighty Three: Mind over matter

So here I am at day eighty three. Been a little bit quiet lately, exams start this week, then uni next week to go and explore microbiology in the uni lab, should be good but am very tired. Adding to my tiredness is that I haven’t been eating so well. It always gets to this around exam time. I get exhausted. Like being awake two whole days in a row tired. I’m blinking and my eyes are open, but don’t expect a proper conversation out of me!!! I’m actually finding it really difficult to write this right now even, its almost 6pm at night, and I have another at least five hours until I go to bed.

So, whats changed from day one to day eighty three? Not my weight, thats for sure. Pretty much been sitting on the same number this while time. Thats a bit crap. But what else has changed? SO MUCH!!!!

My skin is finally being good. Am pretty happy about that. My hormone fluctuations have calmed down, and the ovary pain I was getting has also calmed down. What a relief!! I’m not having mood swings, skin outbreaks, breath-taking on and off pain, so in that way things are great 🙂

So thats the good stuff. The bad stuff is the weight. Thats next. It WAS first on the list but I’m now feeling that the more important things have been almost sorted out so now to work on this. Am just going to have to burn it off with exercise, there is no other way around it. I am pretty happy with my diet most of the time (other than this past week), so now just to burn off the other stuff sitting there that needs to get gone.

So, uni next week. I wont be eating mass produced powdered scrambled eggs. I refuse…. I got these 😀

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Am totally loving them, and will be taking my own juice out to uni 😀 I am going to freeze it (which from last uni, where we did experiments on OJ and know that freezing destroys a stack of vitamins), it will be better than the alternative!!!!!!!

Jumped on board the ‘taking photos of my smoothies/juices in my jars and posting it everywhere’ bandwagon ha ha ha ha ha

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So my new mantra for the moment: “Food does NOT give me energy.” Although, technically, in a physiological way it does…. Ive been seeing reactions I have to certain foods and I can definitely say that after some things, and particularly bigger meals, I mostly feel worse than better. The above smoothie is awesome, I feel great after that. Its easy to digest. I just ate a big bowl of pad thai noodles for dinner, and am so exhausted I can barely function. It feels like a huge lump just sitting in there, making me tired.

Mostly, when I’m tired I eat. Lots. But it never helps, so I need to talk myself out of thinking that way now that I know it….

So instead of rambling along I think I’ll go now 🙂

xx

Day Seventy Six: New habits

Old habits are hard to break, especially if you like them and don’t particularly feel like giving them up. I know I was like that when I first started to lose weight. My big one was the ‘treat’ dinner I gave myself when husband was on night shift, and I would order a pizza, garlic bread, dessert and diet coke. and because it was secret it had to all be gone by morning and outside in the bin under stuff so he didn’t know. It actually took us leaving that town (not as a result of what I was eating, mind you!!) and little access to that kind of food for me to break that habit, even though by then I had lost 20 kilos and was still going. The pizza was a big habit for me to break, and then another big habit was the binge eating on anything when I was alone, which I have only just recently overcome.

Part of me studying nutrition at uni was so I would hopefully become more motivated to lose the last part of this weight that has just not seemed to want to go anywhere fast. I unfortunately did not predict the hours sitting on my bum watching lectures and writing notes that I would have to do, hours not spent on my cross trainer. So despite all my good intentions, my thoughts as I drift off to sleep of ‘tomorrow will be the day, going to smash out 700 calories in that huge workout I do tomorrow’, I just never seem to get there. Which I can say honestly, disappoints me. I know we are all suppose to be all ‘girl power, love yourself, everything you do is awesome’ but it doesn’t always work out like that. There are things that you are going to feel a bit crap about. And mine is the stuff I put first because its more important than spending an hour and a half listening to music and having a nice time by myself as I run off 600 calories on my cross trainer. My family comes first. My uni degree comes first. My friends come first. And when someone says “Oh, but you have to put yourself first, to better look after your family”, or “You need me time and break”, I feel especially bad, it doesn’t help. Because unfortunately there will never be a time in my mind where I go “yes, those dishes don’t need cleaning, my bubba doesn’t need playing with, or those assignments and lectures don’t need doing, I’m going to go and be by myself and stuff everyone, cause I need my me time.” It just seems so selfish, and I find it almost impossible to do.

I’m not sure if it counts as a habit or a belief really, but I would sure like to tap into the part of me somewhere that says yes, its ok to do a workout, those other things can wait. I don’t know where that part of me is, but if you see it, tell it I said hello. As I said, I do feel a bit crap about it, not the part where I put lots of other things first, but I guess that I don’t see it as important enough to add to the list. I need to change that.

So another habit I’m slowly getting rid of is the one where I eat because I’m tired. Because bubba is 3, we eat dinner at 5.30. so by 9pm when I’m taking a hundred notes and watching lectures, and know Ill be at it until at least 11pm, I do get a bit hungry (slash BORED). When I was doing a weight loss program last year I was supposed to have a herbal tea and 2 squares of chocolate a night for dessert. So I would have this at 9pm, and it became a ritual that said to my brain “Once you have had this, that is it. No more food, kitchen is closed.” And it worked. I would have my green tea, my 2 little squares of dark mint chocolate, and I would be happy and not go looking or food afterwards. When I discontinued that program I discontinued my little ritual as well, shame, cause it was a great one. So I have started another one, this is the third night, and its been very nice 🙂

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4 strawberries, 1 raw cacao truffle, a few walnuts, and a peppermint tea. Cant go wrong with that 😀

 

Other foods Ive had today:

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Lemon water and a blueberry, raspberry, coconut water and oat milk smoothie,

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Vegetable korma for lunch with 2 papadums (I know I said I was juicing, but I didn’t make this, it was just sitting there, and it said to eat it!!!!)

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My small oat milk decaf cappuccino, see, there is a habit I was sad to let go of, but I’ve got it down to this, the only coffee I have in a day, so much smaller than my old one!!!

So thats all Ive got to say today I guess, back to another half hour of a lecture, and it will be oil swishing time and off to bed.

xx

 

 

 

 

Day Seventy Four: Learnt some more stuff and had a good think

So, today I am back on my juice. Which is pretty much where I started…. yes? Because I had a really big think about it, tried something out, and I was right.

Yesterday I ate around 1500 calories. Of whatever. I had bread, I made pumpkin and spinach rolls for dinner, I had DAIRY, I pretty much ate whatever I wanted and put it in my calorie counter and made sure it was under 1500. So today, I did exactly the same thing. Except I had juice, juice and more juice. I also had vegetables for dinner (with my favourite garnish of the moment, danish feta ha ha ha ha) and ate fruit. The difference in how I felt yesterday to how I felt today, where I have changed nothing but the quality of what I had was HUGE. I wasn’t tired at all today. I studied ALL DAY, and didnt lose concentration. I wasn’t mad at all at anything. I was focused and calm and felt awesome, which was a LOT different to yesterday, where I was sooo tired I could barely keep my eyes open by mid afternoon. I felt totally drained, snappy, and just wanted to keep eating to get some energy. There was such a massive difference. And the reason was this:

If you are clogging up your system with foods that take ages to digest, that sit all on top of each other and suck your energy to move them through your body, it takes away from other good stuff, like creating more energy, renewing cells, all that important stuff. It makes you feel tired, because thats how your system works (I know, I did physiology at uni.) You are either alert and functioning and doing stuff, or you are ‘resting and digesting’. So if you are using a stack of energy to get through the pile of food you ate, where is your energy going to come from when you need it?

In Kimberly Snyders book ‘The Beauty Detox’ she goes on about that for pages and pages, but it didn’t completely sink in until I was doing a lecture for uni tonight, we are doing the gastrointestinal system. And our lecturer was talking about when you eat fat. When you eat something like a pizza or something equally as yum (and fatty) what is does is inhibits the digestive process. What also happens if you eat a really big meal, the stretching of the stomach makes you digest your food faster as it tries to gain control and make the stomach small again. So a few things happen.

1. If you eat fatty foods, the digestive process slows down, leading to more energy required to work, taking away from energy you need to feel awake and alert and do loads of things.

2. If you eat a large meal, you body is working harder to digest it, also taking away from the energy you could use in other ways, but also speeding the food through so less nutrients are being absorbed.

So thats my thinking anyway. Let me know if it makes sense to you. What was interesting is that the lecturer also said that you are gaining almost 3 times the energy from fats as you would from eating carbohydrates. That would be good yes, gaining energy? Not if you are sitting around on your behind after the meal, storing that nice energy all over your body and making your pants too tight, mmm-hmm…..

So my experiment today was to see how I felt after each ‘meal’ (I’m not going to call a juice a meal, it is what it it, a drink) and I felt great. No digestive problems, no tightness or bloating from eating the wrong thing, I had energy, I could concentrate, it was one of the best stomach-feeling days I have had for a while. And because I wasn’t all sleepy I got a lot more things done. So it was a big WIN.

This is what I ate today, which almost matched my calories to what I ate yesterday, but with so many more vitamins and nutrients I’m sure!!!:

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Green juice made from kale, celery, cucumber and green apple

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Purple smoothie made from raspberries, blueberries, oat milk, coconut water and ice

 

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Orange, apple, cucumber, celery and carrot juice

I also had a small amount of walnuts for morning tea, and some strawberries for afternoon tea, and for dinner I had

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Vegetables with red wine vinegar, and a small amount of danish feta

and tonight Ive had

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Strawberries and two raw cacao truffles, and 2 cups of peppermint tea.

And I can say I haven’t really felt all that hungry, I’ve felt really good. Which is awesome.

And I was just over my calorie count, which pretty much matched yesterdays, and is also over the ‘suggested’ number of calories, in case anyone was wondering if I was eating enough. I do get a lot of negative feedback when people see that this is what I eat sometimes. But if you ask me, this is a lot better than the diet shakes I used to drink three times a day with little to no food. I have fats (nuts, coconut oil), omegas (walnuts) fibre (fruit) iron (kale and other veggies).

So after today, I think this is the way I’m going to go for a while, feeling positive and happy 🙂

xx

 

Day Seventy One: Changing :)

With my new found like (I didn’t say love) of vegetables, I’ve been finding my tastes and craving changing a lot. Which is great, cause thats what I want them to do!! Where I used to eat ridiculous things (and I’m going to admit to it, when I was single, dinner quite a few nights of the week were English muffins with soy mayo and cheese, followed by corn chips and french onion dip) I really don’t want to eat any of those things any more. Its weird how they just look totally unappealing, where as before if you even rustled a bag of chips, I’d be looking like one of those meerkat guys, all alert and “What? What was that noise?”

Just now I have gone into the kitchen, which is my room in the house, I own it and everything in it. Or else. Bit bored, bit procrastinating cause I have lots to do, looking for a snack, as you do. Lots of crackers and yum stuff [read: PREVIOUSLY yum stuff] in there, but it just doesn’t look good. I have no craving for salt today, which is my HUGE issue, and I found some berries in the freezer. They aren’t my berries, I dont’ eat them, but all of a sudden I was like yeah, huge antioxidant smoothie, yeah. So I made this:

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Yes, it was that purple. It might have even been a bit more purple than that. And it was sooooo good 🙂

Blueberries, raspberries, ice, oat milk and a sachet of this stuff:

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WAS SO YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that was one really great thing about today, realising that I’m changing, and changing how I wanted to, nice coincidence!!

I’m now going to show you all the stuff Ive been eating thew past few days, its been a bit yum 😀 I’m also going to start throwing it all into my calorie counter (which yes, I said I wouldn’t do, but I’m just not moving any fats and I want it gone NOW, am totally maintaining my current weight which is just not acceptable anymore. If I had a million hours in the day I would just eat the same and burn it off, but I don’t, I have uni and a family and finding time right now is proving to be a bit difficult 😦 )

SO this was my leftover veggies on my gluten free bread, I probably only needed to eat about half this much though 😀

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My big green breakfast yesterday!!!!!!

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Yesterdays lunch, which I only ate half of, was so full!! Was so yum though 😀

 

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Dinner last night, soup with mushrooms and spinach, such an easy fast dinner, love this 😀

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Morning tea, made my own almond meal from raw almonds, have never done that before, only had a food processor for a little while, was so happy with how it turned out!!

SO thats what Ive been eating the past couple of days. All good food yes, but something isn’t right so will have to look into boring old calories again, sigh, and get back on the elliptical trainer now that my essay is finished and I don’t have as much pressure. Anyway, my motivation is high, my tastes are changing and its making me happy that I feel like I’m going down the right road. Finally 😀

xx